7 signs you’re in a situationship?

Situationships can feel fun and freeing until they start feeling confusing. You’re spending time with someone, there’s consistency (sometimes), anyway, and it may even be physical intimacy, but there’s no real commitment, clarity, or title.

If you’re constantly asking yourself, “What are we doing?” or “Why are we like this?”, you might not be experiencing love – you might be caught in a situationship. Here are 7 signs to help you determine if you are.

What Is A ‘Situationship’?

A simple definition of a situationship is the space between a committed relationship and something that’s more than friendship. A simpler way to define it is that a situationship is “more than friends with benefits”, but less than an official relationship.

Common Reasons People Get Into A Situationship?

People find themselves in situationships for many reasons. Sometimes, it’s due to a fear of being alone, leading you to settle even when you know there’s no real value in the connection. Other common reasons include rebounding from a breakup or dealing with low self-esteem.

Is A Situationship Bad?

Some people would argue that a situationship isn’t necessarily bad, and that it all depends on both partners’ expectations of their relationship or whatever they have going on at the moment.

Others believe that if one partner wants to define things and secretly desires a committed relationship, while the other partner doesn’t want the same, then their relationship is a bad thing.

I see it this way: God created each of us with a unique purpose, and it’s that purpose that gives our lives meaning and hope for the future. Situationships, by their very nature, are the opposite of this. They can’t fulfill that inherent need for meaning because they focus purely on momentary gain with no permanent commitment.

So, if you’re going to “boo’d up,” that’s fine. Just make sure you’re doing it with purpose and an end goal in mind.

7 Signs You’re In A Situationship

Sign #1. Your Relationship Isn’t Defined Yet.

This doesn’t apply if you’ve been in a committed relationship for at least three months. I’m addressing those who are months, even years, into an involvement with absolutely no idea where they stand.

Sign #2: There’s No Consistency In Your Relationship.

One major sign in situationships is that it will always be on and off, full of unpredictability and mixed signals. This is because there are no agreed-upon expectations. Since there’s no commitment, your partner isn’t obligated to uphold consistent behaviors or communication. This leads me to the next sign.

Sign #3:There’s No Title. 

Situationships and titles will rarely, if ever, appear in the same sentence—except right now, of course.

When you’re in a situationship, expect your “partner” to downplay or resist the need for a label. That resistance isn’t just about avoiding a word; it’s a way to dodge responsibility and accountability.

Titles matter. They provide clarity, defining roles and expectations within the relationship.

Sign #4: There Are No Talks Related To Your Future Together.

Since there’s no title, there’s likely no discussion on committing to having a future together. This leaves situationships perpetually ambiguous and uncertain, stripping away any sense of hope or shared vision for what’s next.

Sign #5: Sex is on point, but so is the level of confusion and anxiety.

Sex has always kept people in a bad relationship due to the false hope it creates.

When physical intimacy is present, especially when it’s good and consistent, your desire for a relationship can interpret it as a sign that the connection is deepening and will eventually lead to commitment. You may tell yourself, “If we’re doing this, he must care about me on a deeper level.”

This is false hope and will eventually lead to disappointment.

Sign #6: The Relationship Is One Of Convenience.

In a situationship, interactions are often based on convenience, not conscious effort. You’ll likely only see each other when it suits one or both of your schedules, rather than consistently blending into each other’s lives.

Sign #7: Lack Of Emotional Connection

Lastly, situationships typically have no emotional depth; they’re as shallow as a puddle of water. There’s no true sense of trust or safety that allows both of you to be genuinely vulnerable; if vulnerability happens, it’s usually one-sided. This happens because there’s no explicit commitment or shared future to build on.

What To Do  If You’re In A Situationship?

If you made it this far and you realize you’re in a situationship, but are okay with being in such a relationship, then keep doing what you’re doing. But if you’re not fine with being in an undefined relationship and want something more, then first stop following the situationship rules.

Next, you need to be honest with yourself about what you want, and then push aside fear or rejection— if that’s the case for you. Tell them to your partner. If y’all are on the same page, then the transition won’t be hard. But if you find out they’re not trying to define the relationship, cut it off.

A crucial warning: Be extra careful of being gaslighted, especially if you’re in a situation with a toxic “street dude.” They often hate for any woman to leave them, constantly seeking power over you, yet they will never commit. (You can learn more about toxic “street dudes” HERE.)

Conclusion

Ultimately, a situationship thrives on ambiguity, but your peace of mind depends on clarity. Prioritize your well-being and self-worth by seeking direct answers, setting firm boundaries, or choosing to walk away to find someone where your emotional needs are valued and met.