Bad Boy Vs Good Boy: Which Is Better?
“Bad boys are no good, good boys are no fun.”
mary j blige
I first heard this phrase from R&B artist Mary J Blige on her track ‘Mr. Wrong’.
The ‘bad boy and good boy’ dilemma is a classic that women have debated for ages.
But which one is better? And what has inspired women to believe bad boys are better than good boys?
In this post, we’ll explore both ideals highlighting their characteristics, and appeal, as well as their pros and cons.
Bad Boy vs Good Boy: Two Types Of Men
The allure of the bad boy represents excitement, danger, confidence, charisma, and non-conformity. It made its milestone in the late 20th century and continues to influence modern hip-hop and contemporary culture. Iconic movies that represent bad boys are Foxy Brown(1972), Boyz in the Hood (1991), and Baby Boy (2003). The early iconic music like hip-hop and rap embodied the bad boy spirit originated from artists like LL Cool J(1985), Run DMC(1984), Prince (1999), and McLyte with her track ‘Ruffneck‘ in 1991.
Unlike bad boys, good boys are stereotyped as less appealing, and boring having no passion even though they’re proven to be more stable, reliable, and emotionally available.
Previously, actor and movie producer Tyler Perry created an example of how the good boy is perceived in the movie “Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor.” Judith’s husband, Brice, represented the good boy whereas Harley represented the charming, seductive, and passionate bad boy.
It took me some time to discover that the media played a huge part in influencing my attraction to bad boys as a teenager. Good boys weren’t my type.
The truth is: that Bad Boys and Good Boys have different values and characteristics serving two different purposes.
Bad Boys VS Good Boys
Purpose. Bad boys act as a metaphor for challenging social norms, exploring new possibilities and perspectives, and helping individuals embrace individuality while challenging comfort zones and developing resilience.
Good boys can inspire people to adopt positive values, behaviors, and attitudes. Not only that, they also, contribute to maintaining social harmony and support personal growth.
Reliability. Good boys are more stable and reliable which is extremely important in a relationship as it provides the foundation for trust, growth, and long-term success.
However, bad boys on the other hand are unpredictable and unreliable making them more prone to being unstable and developing mood swings.
Confidence. Bad boys are often confident which captivates women. Their confidence is more assertive, bold, and even become arrogant. Bad boy confidence leads them to be better risk-takers and live life on their terms.
Good boys may struggle with assertiveness yet possess a quieter, more self-assured confidence. This confidence is often paired with humility, empathy, and a willingness to learn and listen.
Passion. Bad boys often express passion with intense emotions, fiery energy, and enthusiasm.
Good boys may not always display the same level of passion as bad boys which can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction.
Spontaneity. Bad boys represent a sense of excitement, danger, and unpredictability, which can be more thrilling and attractive to women.
Good men can be perceived as boring or unadventurous lacking the thrill or mystery women often want in a relationship.
Social Values. Good boys prioritize intimate and family relationships making them better lifelong partners.
Unlike good boys, bad boys value bro’s before h**s, freedom, and independence, leaving them resistant to rules, responsibility, and accountability.
Physical Appeal. Bad boys’ physical appeal can be flashy or unique, making the street aesthetic more attractive.
Good boys are modest and will often keep their appearance simple.
Emotionally Intelligent and Supportive. Good boys are considerate, carry emotional empathy, and won’t leave you feeling frustrated and insecure.
Bad boys aren’t as emotionally supportive and may struggle with emotional intelligence due to their upbringing. Read the Untold Truth About Bad Boys here.
As you can see, both types have strengths and weaknesses. While the “bad boy” can be more confident and exciting, the “good boy” is more reliable and emotionally supportive.
BAD BOY vs GOOD BOY..WHICH ONE IS BETTER?
I’m biased. I previously dated both good and bad boys and from experience, good boys are mentally and emotionally better for you. Here are three reasons why.
Good boys are emotionally intelligent. A man who can’t recognize and understand your emotions is a waste of time because emotional intelligence in a relationship is what helps two people better resolve conflicts. It requires empathy, active listening, and emotional validation. Most women have a ‘physical connection’ with a man without an ’emotional connection’, which is crucial.
Good boys have the emotional intelligence to recognize your emotions, take them, and take the proper steps to resolve them.
Good boys are more stable which makes them more reliable. Stability is critical for a healthy, successful relationship because it provides trust and growth. Good men won’t just ‘give you kids‘, they make ‘excellent fathers‘. They won’t just ‘put you in a house‘, they’ll be around to provide physical and emotional support making it a home.
Good boys are modest. Modest men are usually more humble, and content and feel no need for people to validate them. However, bad boys often struggle with seeking people’s approval making them more likely to be insecure, arrogant, and prideful.
DON’T MAJOR IN THE MINORS…
In summary, some men are boring and may even struggle with assertiveness; these are minor issues that don’t apply to all good men.
Remember, a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and communication. Unlike good boys, bad boys may have the appeal and charisma, but they often lack the moral character to make lifelong partners. However, your values will ultimately determine who align with.
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Photo References
Director John Singleton with Cuba Gooding Jr., Ice Cube, and Morris Chestnut filming “Boyz N the Hood.” (1991) , Mc Lyte “Ruffneck” in 1991, Director Tyler Perry with Jurnee Smollett, Lance Gross filming “Tyler Perry’s Temptation:Confessions of a Marriage counselor”. (2013)
